While My Husband Sleeps (An Erotic Cuckold Tale of Female Dominance & Male Submission)
Justin Lehmiller: I think it's interesting that in Sloane's experience with cuckolding, she sees herself as taking on a very submissive role. However, in my research on cuckolding fantasies, what I find is that people who picture themselves in the voyeuristic role—where they're watching their partner have sex with someone else—those people tend to have more fantasies about sexual submission in general.
And the partners who want to have sex with somebody while their partner is watching them, that's actually linked to more fantasies about dominance. So when I start looking at my fantasy data, I see that the power dynamics tend to be a little different than in the scenario that you described with Sloane. Lisa Taddeo: I think that Sloane was in fact in a position of power. There were several instances that I mentioned in the book, but also more instances that I didn't put in the book, where she's walking around the room and feels completely in charge. She just feels like an exalted being.
I found that for a lot of people, the objects of the cuckolding fantasy felt empowered. It's a very give-and-take kind of relationship, because one person is very desired and the other person wants the other person to be desired by multiple people. Justin Lehmiller: It's interesting that you say that. The way you approached writing this book was that you were trying to tell these women's stories through their eyes. It led her to see herself as the submissive partner in the relationship. At the same time, however, I also got the sense that she does have feelings of power, too.
It's interesting that, looking at it from the outside, you can see her in this position of power, but she doesn't feel like she's in a position of power and actually characterizes herself as a submissive. As a social psychologist reading this, I find that interesting in terms of the way we label our own sexual experiences, versus how outsiders perceive them.
Lisa Taddeo : Yes. I think that for Sloane, she thought it was submissive to be in that position. I think she didn't really know what it was, and I think she was happy with it, but the way that other people responded to her was unhappily. So for her, it was more like she felt like she was in a position of power, but people were telling her that she wasn't. Her best friend was telling her that she wasn't, and so it was difficult for her to see herself objectively.
I told her that and she said, "Well The way that she ruled her husband's desire was so dominant to me. I didn't see what she was seeing. But I also think that part of what she was seeing was informed by what other people around her were telling her that she was. Stay tuned for more from my conversation with Lisa Taddeo and be sure to check out her book Three Women. Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook facebook. You can also follow Dr.
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Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Is Cuckolding the New Swinging? Join Dr. I want him to be submissive but not passive. I want my husband to be passive, not my lover. I ask the man to give me his correct name, age, birth date, occupation, height, weight, build, and penis size measured from the top of the shaft to the tip of the penis, and sexual history.
I have found two very good lovers through Alt. The best way I have found lovers is through the FemDom group I help run. We are a small group of only five couples and I have no intention of growing. If one couple leaves, I add one couple to replace them.
We started out with the intention of building a large support group but it has become a great ground for meeting and screening single submissive men. I have an obscure web site that can be only found through Alt. On my site, I talk about our group and how we are looking for a very few select single men to join in order to serve us superior females. I get quite a number of inquiries and I again make them go through my screening process before I invite them to a group function.
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I ask the same questions as above but I omit the questions about his penis size and sexual history. I definitely require a photo. If the man peaks my interest, I arrange a phone call. If he still peaks my interest, I invite him to a play party. There, I will get to examine his body as well as his personality. I have found the majority of my dates and lovers through our support group.
The average party consists of us five couples and a select few single submissive men. How do I keep the same single submissive men from coming to every party? I let them know up front that because we are a small group with limited space and because so many singles want to attend, they will only be invited to one initial party.
Once a year we throw a big fetish bash at a very large commercial dungeon and I will invite all the selected men to that annual bash but not to another monthly party.
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Unless there is a single man that I or one of the other wives are interested in dating. Then the interested wife will call the man up and ask him on a date. If he becomes a lover to one of the wives, he is of course invited to the monthly parties. The key to my success rate is the screening process.
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I weed out most men before they ever get an invite to one of our parties. How long do I date one of my lovers? Pretty much until I tire of him. I make sure the man I date knows up front that this relationship will only be for a season because I am a married woman. I am honest with the man. I tell him that I find him sexy and attractive but that my goal is to use him for my own selfish pleasure.
If he is a submissive man, this kind of bold talk usually excites him. I have dated men for as short as two dates and I have dated men for as long as two years. My best cuckold ever lasted for two entire years. Is it hard to end the relationship with the lover? No, not most of the time. Usually, the lover decides to move on before I do because he decides that he wants a full time relationship after he meets a single woman who can offer him a little more than I can.
I like that the best because I hate to break it off with a man that becomes overly attached to me. Unfortunately that has happened a number of times and I never get use to doing it but it is a part of the process. A man usually knows that I am about ready to move on when I start encouraging him to date other single women.
nocwaymitlocost.tk Have I ever been hurt? Yes, the man I dated for two years became my best friend other than my husband and I became more attached to him than I had planned. I broke some of my steadfast rules with him, like taking vacations with him and allowing him to live with us for a few months. Both of those are bad ideas. The live in boyfriend is the fastest path to trouble. Three is definitely a crowd under one roof. The friction between him and my husband made me kick my boyfriend out and he never forgave me for that, so he ended the relationship.
It hurt, but it was the correct thing to do. I had some great sex with that one and lots of pleasant memories. The great thing about being married is that your husband is there to cuddle with and to comfort you after a break-up. You are not alone and that makes it easy to get over it.
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However, the best advice is to keep your wits and do your best not to get too emotionally involved with your lovers. That is easier for some women to do than for others. Do I have sex with all of the men I date? No, but that is the goal. I only date a man that I hope to take to bed with me.
I rarely have sex with a man on my first date and there have been men that I was outwardly attracted to but after a couple of dates, I changed my mind. The great thing about being married is that it gives you an easy out for when you want to break things off after a few dates. It always works like a charm. Do I always have a boyfriend? No, but I am usually looking. Sometimes I want a break and I have gone as long as a year without having a boyfriend or lover. In the fifteen years that I have been doing this I would say that I have dated about fifteen men and about ten of those have been my lovers.
So I have had many in between times with no boyfriend. I always tease my husband that I have dated more men and slept with more men since I have been married, then when I was single. Just another great thought to humiliate him with. Now let me describe a typical date and a typical cuckold. Most husbands enjoy getting his wife ready for her dates and mine is no exception.